Today’s Takeaway from Free Virtual Coffeeshop Coaching– 24SEP2023 is:
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; don't wish things were different. That only creates sorrow. Go along. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. Be like a pebble carried effortlessly along the stream of life."
—Vernon Howard regarding Taoism's teaching
Today's Coffeeshop Group Coaching Takeaway
Today's Coffeeshop Coaching focused on ways to deal with changes. Life often hands us changes we didn't expect or welcome for which we may not feel ready. We now have a variety of possible reactions. We can reject what happened, try to reverse it, try to get back to the old familiar, try to force the hands of fate, and make efforts to undo what happened.
It often takes a disproportionate investment of some kind, only to learn that the change we want to reverse is irreversible. You wouldn't be the first person to desperately try and change the mind of a partner who left you, throw money, effort, and happiness into a fruitless lawsuit, or keep investing in a business or enterprise after its demise has become apparent. This is not to convince you to give up easily or be discouraged by minor setbacks. The challenge is rather to distinguish the two. It's important not to get caught in the drama of change; instead, be able to tell if you are dealing with a temporary setback or a hiccup in your enterprise or relationship.
A technique I often recommend is to emotionally step out of the drama, which can be very easy. However, be aware that typically, people are addicted to drama, and therefore, even friends and well-meaning advisers may try to push you into decisions that create more drama. Consequently, it is really important that you detach from all of these typically unreliable emotions and step onto the level of an outside observer. From this position, you look at everything that's happening, detached from the need to be right that your ego might be screaming, and instead allowing that there's also some right in someone else's position. A more detached viewpoint on the situation helps you distinguish which change is just a temporary detour and which change is permanent, and an attempt at reversing course leads to more frustration.
Once you have accepted that some form of change is permanent and there's very little you can do to a reverse course, it should be much easier to establish a mindset in which, instead of internal resistance to the change, you learn to live with it even explore, whether there are ways that the change in situation could also be beneficial and lead to a better outcome. Letting go of a failed relationship or business enterprise is the way to open yourself up to New Horizons.
Three questions from today’s coffeeshop coaching:
How are my reactive behaviors helping me?
How can I open-up to change through learning to detach from drama?
How do I dare accept what is and take new, unfamiliar steps to my new life vision?
How To Sign Up For Our Next Coffeeshop Coaching
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